The Casino – my first comic

After a misspent youth with my head in comic books I decided it was about time to try and write one of my own. I thought I’d start off small with a kind of short story.

I wrote the basic storyline in an afternoon and then played around with page layouts and look and feel with my friend Akhil.

We got something that we were both pretty happy with, but unfortunately it never progressed any further.

Have a read and let me know what you think. If you know any good artists then send them my way!

The Casino

Page 1
5 Panels – panel 5 is a whole page splash really, with the important focus being the roulette table at the bottom of the page, whilst the rest of the casino is the background image, with the first 4 panels inset in two rows of two.

Panel 1
Completely black.

Croupier from off-panel: No more bets

Panel 2
Close-up of a hand spinning the wheel

Panel 3
Close up of ball being spun into the wheel

Panel 4
Close up of the teenager looking confused

Panel 5
A wide shot of the Roulette table with all its patrons, and the rest of the casino in the background (3/4 overhead angle).

Teenager: Where am I?

Page 2
First four panels all in a row on one line

Panel 1
Close up of the ball coming to rest in number 13.

Panel 2
Close up of the croupier scraping away the chips

Panel 3
Close up of winnings being pushed towards the teenager’s hands

Panel 4
Close up of the teenager’s face, again looking confused

Teenager: I won?

Panel 5
Teenager and Mafia guy, side by side – mafia guy is looking at the table and looking p1ssed off holding his cigar between his fingers, the teenager is looking at him and looking happy/excited

Teenager: How much are these black chips worth?
Mafioso: $100,000
Teenager: No way!!
Croupier: Place your bets

Panel 6
The teenager has his hand around the waist and resting on the hip of one of the girls on the other side of him to the Mafioso, but he is half facing the table, and half facing the girl

Teenager: Give me a number, beautiful.

Panel 7
She has turned his face, with her hand on his neck/jaw – close up of their faces

Girl: How about 26?

Panel 8
Shot from over the shoulder or through his eyes. He flicks a single chip, that lands neatly on the 26

Croupier (possibly off-panel?): No more bets

Page 3
Panels 1 -4 as with page 2. Panel five and six side by side, square, panel seven wide and short at bottom

Panels 1-4
Wheel spin, flash of white room, ball lands on 3, teenager shrugs

Panel 5
Teenager is holding his remaining chips and turning to leave the table

Chinese Business Man: Going so soon?
Teenager (thought): I know him from somewhere… but where?
Chinese Business Man: Why don’t you stay for one more bet?

Panel 6
Teenager is now walking away from the table, with the girl, whilst the chinaman is staring hard at him looking angry. Other gamblers are checking out the girl as they start to leave.

Teenager: Nah… I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead

Panel 7
At the cashiers window, pushing his chips towards the cashier

Teenager: Can you cash these for me?
Cashier: Yes sir

Page 4

Panel 1
The girl is passionately kissing him

Teenager(thought): I could get used to this

Panel 2
Extreme close up of her lips next to his ear

Girl: I need to warn you… Mr Lui it going to try to kill you

Panel 3
He freaks out

Teenager: What?!

Panel 4
She is holding him close, her face very close to his

Girl: Stay cool
Girl: He’s been following you since you left Los Angeles

Panel 5
Another flash of the white room, bigger panel, this time the chinaman is there in a labcoat.

Teenager (off-panel): …what happened in LA…?

Page 5

Panel 1
Big splash (half to 2/3 page), single pic with a horizontal split – Mr Lui is walking towards them with a couple goons, they are close to camera on right side.

Top half –

Girl: We have to go. Now!
Teenager: I’m not leaving $2.5mil behind!
Girl: It won’t be any use if you’re dead.

Bottom half of panel shows that Mr Lui is concealing a gun in his waist, beneath his coat

Teenager: Oh God…

Panel 2
They are running away from the cashiers, him shouting back to the cashier
Teenager: Hey, look after my money for a few minutes, I’ll be right back

Panels 3 – 4
They are dodging and ducking their way through the casino, avoiding Lui’s goons

Page 6

Panel 1
Shot from over shoulder, by entrance of Casino, Mr Lui gun drawn

Panel 2
Mr Lui and Teenager in exact same positions, but in the white room, and the gun is replaced by a syringe

Panel 3
Wide shot of them running out of the Casino towards some valets parking cars

Teenager: What’s this all about?
Girl: He knows…
Teenager: knows what?

Panel 4
He is pushing a valet away from a car, the valet is falling. His other hand is on the small of the back of the girl guiding her into the car – he is fully in charge of the situation now.

Valet: Hey!

Panel 5
They are driving off, as Mr Lui gets into a car driven by one of his goons, his gun still in his hand, in the air

Page 7

Panel 1
Shot from inside the car

Girl: Mr Lui knows about DEP
Teenager: What the hell is DEP??
Girl: You have to remember. Think!

Panel 2
White room – the letters DEP on the wall

Panel 3
A bullet shatters the rear windshield of the car

Teenager: Oh $@%&!!

Panel 4
¾ overhead of them screeching through a red traffic light at a crossroads

Panel 5
The car gets hit on the tail by another car going across the perpendicular road

Page 8

Panel 1
½ page splash of the car spun on the road, now stopped, having caused a bit of a pile up

Panel 2 and 3 (wide)
Back inside the car – cuts and scrapes, neither of them too badly hurt, but a bit shaken up. He is looking frustrated, perhaps banging his fist on the dash

Teenager: I can’t remember!

Panel 3, she has her hands on his shoulder and leg, looking pleadingly at him

Girl: Please try, before it’s too late

Page 9

Panel 1
Mr Lui has pulled up and is getting out of the car with his gun

Panel 2
Close up of teenager and woman’s faces

Girl: I love you

Panel 3, 4 and 5
Mr Lui at the window of the car, with the gun facing at the teenager.

He shoots. A close up of the gun firing as a separate panel here.

Everything goes black

Page 10

Panel 1

Half page splash, teenager waking up in a hospital bed, a bit disoriented. DEP – Dream Engineering Project written prominently on the wall.

A voice from off-panel: Welcome back David, how did you enjoy the “High Roller Chase” scenario?
Teenager: scenario…?

Panel 2

Lower half of page – Dr Lui is smiling, and holding a tray of syringes, labelled Desert Island Romance, Skiing on Everest, Wild West Adventure, Alien Abduction, Human Flight.

Lui: Which dream would you like next?

When the Wind Changes

My latest novel is almost ready to go out to the literary world.

I put the first chapter through a writing analyser and it told me that I write like…

…wait for it…

…Lewis Carroll!

Now that is one hell of a compliment! http://iwl.me/s/68a96d20

Here’s a short extract to whet your appetites…

When the Wind Changes 

By Tufan Gavaz

Chapter 1 

If Eric had known what was about to happen he would have walked straight past the video game shop and headed promptly home. But instead he raced ahead of his mother, weaving past the other shoppers on the busy high street until he reached the red and blue neon lights of Video Blitz.

He pushed his woolly hat up to get a better look and his attention was caught by two muscular characters battling on a television screen in the window. They were twisting and turning with such agility that Eric was instantly mesmerised. He leaned in until his nose was pressed right up against the frosty glass, taking in every single dazzling move.

When his mother eventually caught up with him she sighed. ‘Come on, we need to get home.’

‘Please can I get this game, mum? It’s called Super Kingdom Fighters and it looks amazing!’

‘No dear. We don’t have time.’ She took hold of his hand and gave it a pull but Eric didn’t move. His face was still pressed up against the window.

‘But I want it!’

‘Not now, Eric. The Howards will be arriving soon and I need to get everything ready.’

‘BUT, MUM…!’

At that very moment an icy gust of wind was racing along the high street. It was rustling people’s bags, shooting up ladies’ skirts and sending leaves into recently swept shops. It whisked and whirled towards Eric and he shivered as it blew and blustered around him.

He pulled his scarf together and his mother brushed the hair out of her face before sharply tugging Eric away from Video Blitz.

‘Please, mum,’ he said desperately. ‘It won’t take long and I promise I’ll be good.’

‘NO! And that’s final.’ She peered down at her son and suddenly gasped…

The Tube – A (Very) Short Story

The man sitting opposite me is sweating. Large droplets trickle down his forehead as if he’s just climbed out of the shower. What does he expect? It’s the middle of summer and he’s wearing a huge black coat.

The tube is boiling and the people are packed together like battery hens. Everyone stands in their own little world, cocooned by their iPods, books and newspapers. Nobody makes eye contact. It would be too uncomfortable in such close proximity.

I turn back to my book and read a few lines before I glance at the man again. His dark eyes are darting around, eyeing every person in the carriage. It’s then I realise how on edge he is. His hands are gripping the hand rests, with such force, that his knuckles have turned white.

What’s wrong with him? Perhaps he’s claustrophobic. Perhaps he’s mentally unstable. He wipes the sweat away from his forehead with a coat sleeve and then stares right at me.

I quickly divert my eyes to my book. It takes me a few second to find my place and I start reading. But the man is far more interesting than my paperback, so I chance another peek at him.

He unbuttons his coat and sticks his hand inside. As the coat flaps open, something catches my eyes. A flash of metal. It sets off alarm bells. Could there be a bomb strapped to his chest?

He fiddles with something and then buttons his coat back up. This is bad. Why would he button his coat back up unless he has something to hide?

I glance around to see if anyone else has noticed the terrorist in our carriage, but I’m the only one. Which means it’s down to me to do something, but what do I do?

My heart hammers within my ribcage and my palms become moist. Come on, focus. Panicking won’t help anyone. But my brain has filled up with useless ideas. If I started shouting, he would detonate the bomb before anyone came to my aid, and if I pulled the passenger alarm, it would stop the train, trapping us in the tunnel with our killer.

So what should I do? Do I dare risk waiting until the next station to take action? I could get myself off the train and then alert the other passengers. A little selfish perhaps, but at least I’d be safe.

He glances at me again and I hide my face behind my book. His bloodshot eyes look deranged. I sit there listening to the rhythmic sound of the wheels on the track, trying to stop myself from having a panic attack.

‘The next station is King’s Cross St. Pancras,’ says the emotionless voice over the intercom. A glimmer of hope. We’re almost there. I look over the top of my book and realise the man looks even more disturbed than he did a few seconds before. A vein on his forehead has risen to the surface and I can see the blood pumping through it.

And then the train starts to slow. I hope and pray that I’ll make it out of this alive, but when we come to a standstill, the windows remain dark. We’ve stopped in the tunnel.

‘I’m sorry for the delay ladies and gentlemen. We’re just waiting for a green light before we proceed,’ says the driver.

Hurry up!

The man closes his eyes for a second and then shoves his hand into his pocket and I know this is it. We’re all going to die.

I should do something, anything, but I’m frozen with fear. I imagine his hand closing around a detonator and pressing a button that causes a fireball to engulf me… but nothing happens.

He pulls his hand out of his pocket and there is a piece of A4 paper clutched within it. He unfolds it and starts reading. It looks like an email. On the side facing me is a map and a disclaimer. Could they be instructions to operate the bomb, followed by an escape route?

The train starts moving again and after a few seconds, light from the platform fills the carriage. I’ve almost made it. I stand up and try and shove my way through the wall of commuters, but there is no room to move.

The killer flips the page over and I read the subject of the email: Job interview 9:00am.

Tuf’s Top Ten Children’s Books

1. Harry Potter by J.K Rowling

Absolutely amazing. The world that Rowling creates is so real that I’m convinced my children will attend Hogwarts.

2. His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman

The scope of these three books is humbling. They cover religion, parallel universes, magic, dark matter and essence of the human soul, all woven into a miraculous tale.

3. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

The Book Thief shows us what it must have been like to live in Nazi Germany. It made me laugh and cry – quite a feat for a book narrated by Death.

Zusak’s use of metaphors is beautiful.

4. The Solitaire Mystery by Jostein Gaarder

No matter how many times I read this book I am always enthralled. It is eccentric and wonderful.

5. You’re a Bad Man Mr Gum by Andy Stanton

This is the funniest book I’ve read in a long time. Am I allowed to say its better than Dahl?

6. The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud

A story about a boy magician in London, that couldn’t be more different from Harry Potter. Bartimaeus’s tongue is razor sharp!

7. The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

Deliciously macabre. Being raised by ghosts in a graveyard was never going to be straightforward.

8. Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

Artemis Fowl is impossible to put down… even at 1am in the morning. Children’s literature had been calling out for such a cool anti-hero.

9. Tales of Terror from the Black Ship by Chris Priestley

I bought this book because of the wonderful front cover and was delighted by what I found inside. A series of terrifying short stories all linked together in a uniquely gruesome way.

10. Raven’s Gate by Anthony Horowitz

The best book Horowitz has written. I was truly shocked at some of the deaths.

I write like…

Neil Gaiman pointed me towards intriguing website that analyses your writing style and tells you which famous author your writing is similar to.

Disappear (my latest book) is written like Leo Tolstoy author of War and Peace (http://iwl.me/s/698342ba) and Isaac Asimov author of IRobot (http://iwl.me/s/726f1bdc). I’m not too sure about the Russian connection, but perhaps it has something to do with the fact that my lead character is named Sasha.

This got me thinking, so I thought I’d try my other writing.

Alfie Gray is apparently written in a similar style to Stephen King (http://iwl.me/s/b3a26720).

Clandestine is written like Douglas Adams author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (http://iwl.me/s/696f37bd) and Dan Brown (http://iwl.me/s/cfe99843).

Either my writing style is extremely eclectic or the ‘I write like’ website can’t make up its mind about me. Whatever the answer, it was definitely fun!

Alfie Gray front cover

The artwork for Alfie Gray is ready!!!!

I think Pearl Law has done an absolutely amazing job. Please let me know what you think.

Just click on the thumbnail below to see the full size front cover and to read the story (if you haven’t done so already)…

sooooooooooo busy

I’ve been sooooooooooo busy lately that my blog has taken a bit of a back seat. How rude of me!

Whilst I was stranded in Sri Lanka (thanks to the ash cloud) I finished the first draft of Disappear. I wrote the majority of the book using pen and paper and it seemed to give the writing a different feel… I need to read it again to be sure, but my initial inclination is that it is more fluid.

Two weekends ago I challenged myself to come up with a short story idea within three minutes and surprisingly it worked. I’m two thirds of the way through The Mysterious Book. It’s my first attempt at writing horror for children and it’s already given me the shivers. I hope it’s not too scary!

I heard back from Orion publishing giving some invaluable feedback on Clandestine.

There is quite a lot of work to be done (especially coming up with a unique selling point) but their comments were really positive…

“The concept is nice and commercial”

“There’s definite potential”

I walked around with a smile on my face for a week!

Finally after the hugely positive response to Alfie Gray (it has even been used as a teaching aid in GCSE English throughout a number of different schools!) I decided to commission some art work for it.

Pearl Law is undertaking the project and if her rough sketches are anything to go by its gong to be AMAZING!

Disappear

I started working on a new novel Disappear a couple of weeks ago. I followed very similar techniques to those I used when planning and plotting Clandestine, but this time it was a little more straightforward and a lot quicker. If only I knew the things that I know now!

Most agents and publishers base their initial opinion of a book on the first three chapters, which may seem a little harsh, but as they have so many manuscripts to sift through, it has become a necessity. This means that now more than ever, it is essential that these first chapters as perfect as possible.

I have always believed that the beginning of a story is the hardest part to write. You need to set the tone of the novel, introduce a number of fully formed characters, place the characters into a believable world, hook the reader with an exciting turn of events, allow the reader to empathise with the protagonist, provide intrigue to keep the reader questioning and much much more.

So last night, I read through the first three chapters of Disappear to see how they measured up. As with all first drafts it was a little rough around the edges but I enjoyed the overall feel of the story. There was lots of red pen on it when I had finished and, more importantly, I had identified a couple of the key points from above which need to be improved. I’m going to attempt to fix these points this weekend, so that the beginning of the story does everything it needs to do, and once this is done, hopefully the rest of the novel will follow suit.

Boys read as much as girls, but prefer the simpler books

 

I found this article from the Independent really interesting but I don’t think its saying anything new. When I was at school I would often opt for easier reads.

the Sheeta cartoon

When my sister and I were much younger, when we were particularly bored, one of us would usually suggest watching a video.

We had a pile of VHS’s in the corner of the living room, some of them Hollywood classics and others were the staple of any eighties childhood, but our favourite by far was something we accidentally recorded.

Before the days of Sky+ and Tivo, setting the video player to record was almost as complicated as studying quantum mechanics. I can’t remember what we were trying to record but it certainly wasn’t this. We called it “the Sheeta cartoon”. The recording started about twenty minutes in, it was terrible quality, but we loved it. The film had it all. Magic, government agents, an insane villain, a floating island and pirates to name but a few.

As I got older, the video got lost and I practically forgot about “the Sheeta cartoon”, until I stumbled across another film by Hayao Miyazaki, and it brought the memories flooding back. It took me another two years to get round to buying Laputa – Castle in the Sky, but it was well worth the wait. I watched it earlier this week and fell in love with it all over again.

The story was just as magical as I remembered it, the characters jumped out of the TV and the ending was surprisingly moving. If you haven’t seen it, watch it now!